Weather and Migration

As the disturbing news reports continue to roll in from the Gulf Coast, I have to say that I'm doubly glad that we moved to the Midwest. You can hunker down for a blizzard or tornado and probably survive, but when a hurricane comes barreling down on you, all you can do is board up and leave ... if that.

If the current weather pattern change to more frequent and powerful Atlantic hurricanes holds, it could reverse the nation's long southern migration. After all, who wants to put up with the annual threat of a killer hurricane (or two)? Such a reversal could have profound demographic, electoral, and financial implications.

But we can sort out all that later. The thing to do now is to help the victims. If you can, write a check today. And pray.

Impending Disaster

With New Orleans partially submerged by just the edge of Katrina, word comes that five years ago city officials had been discussing building a wall around the city 25 feet high. But, alas, it was never done. The result of the decision to do nothing is the devastation we are seeing on the news.

So often, it seems, we human beings face impending disaster with a shrug, or with a wishful thought that the bad thing will not happen, or that we will somehow be spared in the midst of it. With trouble clearly ahead, we dither instead of decide, we choose inaction over action, we punt instead of plan.

Which brings to mind the all-important question: What other clearly foreseen dangers are we choosing to ignore? While this list is by no means exhaustive, here are a few:

- terrorists coming over our borders with compact weapons of mass destruction;

- hijackings or other attacks on our aviation industry by members of ethnic or religious groups that we politely refuse to "profile";

- attacks on our lightly defended nuclear and chemical plants.

Of course, dangers from the weather or our fellow man are not the only things we choose to ignore. These events are more or less statistically probable. There is one fate that we all face with 100 percent certainty: death. What are we doing to prepare for that?

Hurricane Questions

As Katrina roars ashore, ask why God would allow such a monster storm to hit New Orleans, if you must. But remember to also ask why man would build such a large city well under sea level in a hurricane-prone area.

Don't Show Me State

Yesterday a Circuit Court judge ruled that a new Missouri law banning lap dances is unconstitutional ... bringing the phrase "freedom of expression" to a new low.

Phony Study

A paper published this week in the Journal of the American Medical Association concluded that "fetal perception of pain is unlikely before the third trimester." Only one problem: The authors have significant, undisclosed ties to the abortion industry and can rightly be suspected of bias. One is the medical director of the so-called Women's Options Center at San Francisco General Hospital, which performs abortions. Another is a former employee of the (also so-called) NARAL Pro-Choice America advocacy organization.

JAMA failed miserably to assure its readers that the "study" on fetal pain, which was actually just a summary of some earlier studies, was based on science and not on pure political propaganda. Can you imagine the reaction if JAMA had published, without disclosure, a study by pro-life researchers that the unborn actually do feel pain?

And besides, what difference does it make? Killing is still killing, whether the victim feels it or not.

Stop Them Before They Eat Again

Apparently having vanquished the perennial problems of low test scores and gangs, Chicago public school officials are taking on a new foe: McDonald's. The fat-friendly chain has--gasp!--too many restaurants within walking distance of the schools.

Here's an idea: Why don't the schools figure out how to provide healthy and tasty meals at a reasonable price in their own cafeterias? Have you looked at their menus lately? Compared to "beefy nachos," corn dogs, and other junk passed off as lunch fare, McDonald's (Big Mac or no) seems like health food.

Iraq's Constitution

As Iraq's political leaders attempt to put the finishing touches on their national charter, many in the West are rightly concerned about the extent to which Islam will be codified in the country's laws. Human-rights observers fear the possibility of theocracy. But if Islam is a "religion of peace," then we have nothing to worry about, right?

Robertson

When the Rev. Pat Robertson advocated the assassination of Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, the Defense Department was quick to disavow his remarks. The United States, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said, does not kill world leaders. One could be forgiven, however, for wondering if Rumsfeld might make an exception in the case of Robertson.

Another thought: If the media outrage over Robertson's stupid remark lasts for the rest of the week, it will officially eclipse coverage of Islamic extremists beheading innocent victims on videotape.

Let's face it: Robertson is an old man who has forgotten (if he ever knew) how to control his tongue. The main consequence of this latest loony utterance is to make fellow evangelicals look bad.

Robertson, who has done a great deal of good with his life and ministry, and Cindy Sheehan have something in common. They talk too much, and they don't have someone in their inner circle with the guts to tell them to be quiet.

Speak Softly, Carry a Big Hammer

Jimmy Carter is one of our more annoying ex-presidents, with his cozying up to Michael Moore and his intemperate criticism of a serving president. Jimmy speaks a lot louder when he simply picks up a hammer. Too bad the well-meaning folks at Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (with all their grating WHOO-HOOing) don't emulate the man from Georgia and go about their business a bit more modestly. But that wouldn't make for good television, would it?

First, Second, Third III

When your first child scrapes her knee, you consider taking her to the emergency room. When your second does so, you rummage around for a bandage. When your third does it, you tell the kid to walk it off.

Bumper Stickers Not Seen II

He who dies with the most toys wins. Not.

Facial

Requiring kids to wash their faces once a day is not a form of child abuse.

M&M&M

Last year during the playoffs, wide receiver Randy Moss "mooned" the fans. Now he has admitted to having "fun" with marijuana. Moss isn't really a jerk. He's just trying to get an endorsement for M&Ms.

Misplaced Mercy

The BTK serial killer was sentenced to life in prison today. That's a lot more mercy than he showed his victims.

Process of Elimination

Part of knowing what your calling is is knowing what your calling is not.

Nose Knows

Want evidence your kids are growing up? How about body odor?

Ideal Illogic

America's worship of youth is, at one level, simply illogical. People want to be some ideal age (such as 18 or 25) so that they have all their best years ahead of them: career, marriage, family, retirement, with none of that "capital" spent. At that ideal age, they will have done few of the things that constitute life. It is all in the future.

But the minute they start spending this capital, they are in fact aging. By the time they have done all the things that constitute a rich and full life, they are old. Then they wish they were young again. But if they were young again, they would not have lived that rich and full life.

If the youth-worshipers are right, we should all want to die young. But we don't, and in fact consider the premature death of the young to be a great loss.

Let's start honoring age as indispensable and the aged as valuable assets to the rest of us. They have the accumulated experiences and (we hope) the wisdom to help the rest of us on our life journey.

First, Second, Third II

With your first child, it's absolutely no videos, just classic children's literature. With your second child, you'll allow a few videos as long as they are wholesome (like Karen Henley or "Baby Einstein"). By the time the third kid comes around, you're holding marathon "Thomas" film fests in your family room.

Cindy Sheehan

Cindy Sheehan, who has camped out in Craford demanding to see President Bush because her son died in Iraq, already saw him in June 2004. At the time, Crawford said, "I now know he's sincere about wanting freedom for the Iraqis. I know he's sorry and feels some pain for our loss. And I know he's a man of faith."

Today, however, she says, "You tell me the truth. You tell me that my son died for oil. You tell me that my son died to make your friends rich. You tell me my son died to spread the cancer of Pax Americana, imperialism in the Middle East. You tell me that, you don't tell me my son died for freedom and democracy."

Someone needs to tell the poor woman to stop embarrassing herself and walking over her son's grave. Grieving is one thing. Joining the Michael Moore crowd is simply sad.

Gas Prices

Remember the good old days when a gallon of gas cost about $1.60? I do; they were back in January. Crawford, we have a problem.

Puffy Chests

Safely landing the shuttle (after an unexpected space walk to repair yet another potentially life-threatening problem), NASA officials are walking around today with puffy chests. I'm as happy as the next guy that the brave and skilled crew returned to Earth safely, but isn't a safe landing expected nowadays?

It's time to scrap this program, which relies on 1970s technology, and move on to something worthy of the most technologically advanced nation on earth. Do you remember what cars (not to mention computers) were like back in the '70s?

Bumper Stickers Not Seen I

Safety, Prosperity, and Democracy: Don't Blame Me, I Voted Democrat

Illogical Kids

Ever notice how kids react to a food or medicine they don't like? Instead of swallowing it (and getting rid of the bad taste), they'll keep it in their mouth and complain about how awful it is. Just goes to show: Kids aren't logical.

Miracle

Today the media are reporting a "miracle" that occurred yesterday when 309 passengers and crew members survived the crash of Air France Flight 358 from Paris at Toronto's Pearson International Airport. Anyone else waiting for the ACLU to file suit?

But Did He Inhale?

On March 17, Rafael Palmeiro said under oath, "I have never used steroids. Period." Yesterday, the modern-day baseball legend was suspended 10 games after testing positive for performance-enhancing steroids. Now he says he didn't intentionally use them. Sounds to me like Palmeiro is splitting hairs like a certain president who had trouble defining what the meaning of is is.

Doing the Math

Today I'm 44 years old–officially in my mid-40s. Doing the math, while I still feel (or at least act) like a young man, in 26 years, I will be 70. Twenty-six years ago, I was 18, getting ready for my senior year in high school. Time really does fly. Make each day count.