Rules for Living

No. 68: Don't insult Santa Claus before Christmas.

Beware

Beware the politician who says one thing to his friends and another to the voters.

Polls

Polls don't win elections; people do. Ask Thomas Dewey.

Bumper Stickers Not Seen

"Crime, Confiscation, Corruption: Let Obama do for America What He Did for Chicago."

Rules for Living

No. 6: Even if it seems pointless, do the right thing.

Joe the Target

The media have now turned on Joe the Plumber. He must've done something right.

Plumbing

Guess I shoulda gone into plumbing. You make lots of money and get to be on TV.

The Obamamobile

Most people do a little homework before they make a major purchase, whether it be a couch or a car. Yet with the sleek, shiny, new Obamamobile, millions are refusing to even kick the tires, much less look under the hood. I fear we're about to end up with a real lemon, and we won't be able to trade it in for another four years.

Don't Quote Him on That

Bill Clinton's most famous quote may have been, "The era of big government is over." Now that the era of small government is over, I expect that the former president's most notable quote will be, "I did not have sex with that woman-Miss Lewinsky."

Chicago Express

The Barack Obama express seemingly is rolling to a convincing victory on November 4. Nothing seems to stop it: not the shady characters who've been shoved off (among them Tony Rezko, Jeremiah Wright, and Bill Ayers), not Obama's lack of experience and big spending promises, not his simplistic and naive approach to foreign policy, and not even the cognitive dissonance created by his moderate words and his radical, pro-abortion history. Certainly not the dithering and ineffectual John McCain.

But the express from Chicago ain't taking any chances for the candidate of "change." ACORN, a liberal group with which Obama has long ties, is implicated in a series of voter registration irregularities in Ohio and elsewhere. When in doubt, cheat. That's Barack Obama: bringing corrupt Chicago politics to the national stage. Now I'm just waiting for him to say, "That's not the ACORN I knew"-after the election.

Money Musings

They're talking about a crash in the stock market. I don't know if I'm that optimistic yet. Doesn't a crash connote that we have hit bottom? Regardless, this could be one of those times that those who are fleeing Wall Street regret. Not only are they locking in their losses (selling low); they may be missing one of those once-in-a-generation opportunities to buy low. Panic is the enemy of the investor.

Rules for Living

No. 31: Wishing for something doesn't make it so.

Rules for Living

No. 16: It's better to volunteer than to be drafted.

Kid Advice 2

"If you think life tastes bad, you should try Vegemite."

Kid Advice 1

"God didn't invent problems so we'd have an excuse to worry."

Cub Flub

New slogan for the Cubs: Wait 'til next century.

O.J. Justice

For O.J., justice delayed is better than nothing.

Barack and Barney

Barack Obama wants to do for health care what Barney Frank did for the housing industry. Who wouldn't vote for that?

Pass the Lipstick

Though two vice presidential candidates will be debating tonight, only one will be under the microscope. It's time for Sarah Palin to take the training wheels off, and the gloves. The Alaska governor must be able to demonstrate her convictions, her personality, and her grasp of the key issues facing the country (not all the minutia). All Joe Biden has to do is avoid the big gaffe.

Call me crazy, but I'm putting my money on the pit bull with lipstick.

Giving Goal

Make it a goal this year to give to someone who can't pay you back.