Falling

You know when fall is right around the corner in Chicago. The air gets crisp, the leaves start to turn, and the Cubs and Sox fall out of contention.

Dreams

Let go of your dreams. If they are truly yours, they will fly back to you.

Rules for Living

No. 85: Don't build your house on a foundation of Legos.

Now or Never

For John McCain, the campaign for the presidency was now or never. For John McCain, now is never.

Healthy Nagging

Just once I'd like to read a cereal box without being told how to get healthy.

Good Week for Terror

It's been a good week for terrorists. First, Gordon Brown and the British government release the Lockerbie bomber to Libya, and now the Obama administration has reversed course and says, yes, it will investigate the CIA interrogators who questioned terror suspects using some tough methods.

Interesting how the secular West, in the face of fanaticism, not only lays down its arms, but prosecutes those who would defend us. I feel safer, don't you?

Odoriferous

Comoon use oof the nonexistent word odiferous (for the real word odoriferous) demonstrates that ignorance is a key engine in language development.

Flip-Flops

Since when did flip-flops become standard business attire?

Phase III

The government's Cash for Clunkers program is all about saving our earth's limited natural resources. Phase II will be replacing (at taxpayer expense) inefficient and wasteful refrigerators with newer models that leave a smaller carbon footprint. So what's next? Here's a humble suggestion: Let's replace people's old toilets with newer ones that use less water with every flush.

I call it Cash for Crappers.

Leftwing Incompetence

We knew Barack Obama was a leftwing ideologue and hoped against hope that he would govern from the center. Now it appears that he is an incompetent leftwing ideologue. He has done the impossible by alienating both the left and the right and scaring the liver out of the center as he tacks first this way and then that, all the while blaming Republicans when he theoretically has the votes within his own party to get whatever he wants. If the president cannot lead the Democrats, how can he lead the country?

Inconvenient Healthcare Facts

The average life expectancy in the U.S. has reached 78 years, the highest ever. And if you control for deaths caused by auto accidents and shootings, America has the world's longest average life expectancy. Keep these facts in mind the next time you hear we need a radical overhaul of our healthcare system.

Ahhh

So the Democrats are thinking about ramming the health-care changes down our throats whether we want them or not? Open up and say, "Ahhh."

Committed

Ladies, how do you know whether a young man is committed to you? When he gives you the ring and you call the caterers.

Tiger's Travails

Getting those next five majors to best Jack Nicklaus's record won't be easy for a suddenly human Tiger Woods. First, he has a bum knee. Second, he's getting older, and a certain amount of decline is inevitable. For many players, the first thing to go is the putting, which is what killed Woods yesterday. Third, watching an unknown Korean do to Tiger what he usually does to other players in the closing round-make him blink-has got to be emboldening to guys who have been cringing in Tiger's shadow for years. Like sharks, they may smell blood in the water. No, Tiger is far from washed up, but he's definitely beatable. And his job just got a whole lot harder.

Jerks

Just because you forgive someone doesn't mean he's not a jerk.

Limits

Don't tell a kid there are no limits to his or her desires. First, it's wrong. There are simply some things he or she cannot do, either because of innate gifting (or lack thereof), opportunity, or legality. Second, it will breed a sullen thanklessness. After all, if there are no limits, then I am entitled to whatever I want.

Teaching children about limits will, counterintuitively, encourage thankfulness when they do get what they desire. It will also keep them from constantly asking for stuff (particularly when you are on a hurried shopping trip). So go ahead, parents. Love your kids today. Just say No.

Blinding Goals

Don't let your goals blind you to what's really important.

Bolt

The new Bolt electric car is a real wonder. It gets an amazing 230 miles per gallon. And I didn't even know electricity came in gallons!

Dissent

Remember when liberal opponents of the war in Iraq said dissent was the highest form of patriotism? Now we have Americans protesting the "Obama" health care plan, and suddenly these people are not patriots but instead are Nazis, Klansmen, and tools of the special interests. If so, what does this make the liberals?

Rules for Living

No. 3: Don't lecture your parents.

Narrow Escapes

This past weekend my family had a great time in and around Sheboygan, Wisconsin. We also had two very narrow escapes. On Saturday, a teen driving an SUV, without even slowing down, ran a stop sign coming from our left. My wife saw him just in time and slammed on the breaks, averting an almost certain bloody accident. Minutes later a beautiful red-tailed hawk nearly smashed into our windshield, and Christine again expertly applied the breaks.

On Sunday, we were stuck in heavy traffic south of Milwaukee when a terrible thunderstorm packing lighting, driving rain, and hurricane-force winds tore through. All we could do was pray, which we did, and God spared us.

Thank you, Jesus, and thank you, Christine.

Oxymoronic Worship

The other day I drove past a church advertising its "casual worship." Could anything be more oxymoronic? Jesus may want us to come as we are, but I can't imagine approaching the Lord of all casually.

Laziness

There's always a good excuse for laziness.

Practice

If you wanna play, you gotta practice.

Life Support

Now that some Americans are expressing concern about the Democrats' gargantuan plans to take over the health care system, Obama and company use ad hominems and red herrings to dismiss them as tools of the insurance companies. I'm not so naive as to believe there's none of this going on, but the polls say that's far from the only story here.

The Democratic elites, led by the elitest-in-chief, had better pay attention, or it is they whose ambitions may end up putting them on political life support. And the voters may decide the liberals' quality of life is too expensive for us all to maintain.

Indebted

New research indicates that having a child will cost you $291,000 to raise. That's nothing. In just half a year, Barack Obama and his friends in Congress have raised the debt level by $1 trillion-and that's before any socialized medicine scheme.

Clunker

Speaking of cash for clunkers, can we offer a taxpayers a rebate for the president's health care legislation? It's a real cash-guzzler.

Don't Say It

When disciplining kids, never say everything you're thinking.

Birthdays

For birthdays, the important thing is not the present, but who gives it to you.

Cheaters

In baseball news this week, it turns out that two key players for the Red Sox teams that won two World Series were taking performance-enhancing drugs. If Boston gets to retain these titles, there's something wrong. Bank robbers, once caught, don't get to keep the money. Cheaters shouldn't get to keep their championships.